Offshore

I am back with you, my love. At one with your gentle froth and foam. You come playfully touch and go; and how you tickle me? There are pebbles at your shore. I am collecting the flat ones, because they resemble some cell phone. I'll throw some back at you. I see you rise and fall, while I stare, your warmth is in your spray, saline and loving. The sea gulls did tell you this cold morning that I would be coming to see you! You do look ecstatic. I see that your mighty arms have formed rivulets with the tide and they are streaming towards inland searching for a home maybe in some backwaters. I dare not go back lest you feel everyone betrays you. I won't. You are my dope, my stash, my ecstasy and the world enquires "what are you on these days?" Little ignorant ones. Now I see you playing your tricks again, who is she? In pristine flowing white with the wind, is she an angel, a mermaid, or just merry. Ah! you play your tricks upon me again. Your sand kisses me as I roll down the slope towards you. I promise I will take the free fall off the cliff soon someday to be in your arms forever. I know you have a wonderful bed waiting for me, as I lay my tired self to rest on your bosom. You fill my heart with joy. I don't need gills. I don't need to breathe.

You seem to be in your mood swings today, guess the moon is doing things to you. Worry not as I ride your waves alongside the dolphins. So many times I have walked towards you only to be ruthlessly thrown back. This planet knows not our worth. You are rising, the Senate knows that. I trust no one, but you. I know you will take me by the arm and entwine in a divine embrace. I marvel at your ability to be self enthused. You do not require renaissance. You shimmer like a thousand gems at me so that I don't get bored. I won't, neither would you. I can sit and gaze here as the planet goes through its customary revolutions and rotations. We all move in circles around one glowering fascination that catches our eye. I love the revolutions. They bring seasons. Cold still winters and bustling summers. But what I like the most is when you have a gloomy blue gray above with a hint of lightening at the horizon to glorify your beauty. Those are the times when I feel the vastness of your macrocosm. But here I am quoting someone else...I am just collecting pebbles by your shore. I will throw some back to you.

Thus spake Demonos II...-|-...In Remembrance...-|-

I was not put here by anyone in fear, I came alone as me.
Just an idea in a long chain of discovery surrounded by the same you. Sometimes your tide pulls me out to sea and I die in a thrashing curse. So far up the beach that those who try to reach are burnt alive in the searing heat of the desert of my dispassion. So far removed, I never hear the water, but I long to. And I refuse to believe in some of the things that are said to be here. Let alone those that are not, I'm trying to change my direction and yes...Ours is pathetic in my own humble estimation.

I love the planet. The great benign she-wolf. Benefactor. Spinning gently on towards the red giant, and four aeons hence when all the rose gardens are consumed in the flash-fire of flying time.
She'll leave you alone, to you.

I thought I felt you jump out of my skin, throwing oil into my blazing memories. But when the winds blow from this direction you may sense that I'm in your reflection. You move your body and your whispers weave as the world spins. It tells me that I'll never want to leave. Gradually I think I feel you but I will never know, as the days leave and the centuries grow.

As I think of you from this dark century I will always be with 'benign' curiosity and doubt that we both may share and hope in vain that we're not just disappearing spirits. One-up-manship when it comes to intellectual competency? How futile! So the little time, that your crystal eyes gazed into mine, was what intellectual competencies cannot fathom. I behold a burning flame, forever dreaming....dreaming a lie!

I am trapped inside internal eyes and caressed by innocence is a sanctuary which I built for your mind, beneath a pale sardonic sky. One love, one sorrow and an undying affection for life. Finally I walk away from the flames. I've found a way to erase the pain - A guardian angel called escape.

I don't dwell on the forthcoming. However you will know, when I'm gone, you'll hear my cries in the wind.

Thus Spake Demonos

This was spoken to a self-proclaimed clairvoyant.

Love cannot be just once; it only means that you are too tired to love. I have thought about that and then I learnt and rediscovered myself. I felt, I didn't have an identity. However, today as I stand with all my insecurities and uncertainties, I still am half way to know who I am. I have gone through deceit and denial on several occasions. I have gone through humiliation, separation, pain and agony…and now I come clean. I am detached and I find peace in it. I respect everyone's feelings.

I have learnt to let go; letting go is the biggest of all attainable pleasures for me that I derive. Be it letting go of a bus, a train, a good movie, a lover, a potential life partner, a nice job. I don’t think on that, hence I’m happy :) I am almost an urban ascetic; I yearn to live a life of the mountains. Sometimes there are disturbances, when people say that ‘you love yourself and nobody else’. Well if you can’t love yourself, I would say you can’t love anybody else. I used to hate myself to the extent of putting my self to pain and oblivion. Even near experiences of putting myself unto death’s embrace. Then I realised humility. Those ego barriers are futile and unnecessary. I used to hate myself but not anymore. Years have changed me; that’s all I need to know. I can’t live for the future; I try to live in the present as much as possible. Hence I am never interested to know what’s in store for me in the future like how my folks and other people want. So, I never asked and will never do. If I get to know what is in store for me, then I might break down and lose it.

Life was never a 9-5 job, a wife and a kid and aging parents for me. It can’t be.
All these things have been done for millions of years and still being done.

I don’t fall in all this, I say this not because I’ m superior or pretend to be strikingly different or something like that. But because there is a deeper reason why I was sent here. And I seek that very purpose.