Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Malice in Ponderland

This is not a review. This is just a view.

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland is a big callous blunder. A far cry from Edward Scissorhands or the classy dark Sleepy Hollow, this one's not even close to Ed Wood, Willy Wonka, Big Fish or even Sweeney Todd! I would rather enjoy far out watching 'Corpse Bride' - an animated Depp rather than the aggressively promoted Mad Hatter, who hardly makes an impact in the narrative.

Whatever happened to Johnny Depp?? Jack Sparrow has rubbed furiously off his demeanor and all facial twitches resemble either a Willy Wonka or again a Sparrow. It seems he is living off his characters from films and carrying them forth to the next one. A very scary thought.

Burton and his lysergic diethylamide-induced factory has churned out a total waste of brilliance and economics behind this film. Every frame, every shot reminds you of one of the numerous 'unending falling-into-depth-less-pits', slaying of fire-gamma rays fuming dragon like creatures, futile humor lines and the list will put you to sleep even before Alice does. Infact Wonderland itself looks like an abandoned remains of a set from some old Burton movie.

The supporting cast are overplayed, underplayed, overacted, all around a Taylor Swift types who has played Alice (Mia Wasikowska = who?). Anne Hathaway's frustration of not getting better roles is apparent on screen as the perpetually stoned White Queen. Helena Bonham Carter has been overplayed to the hilt as the Red Queen and the ugliness is over the top. Other characters are as irritating as the 3D glasses.

After being terribly depressed, by the time I walked out of the theater, I overheard things from the crowd like 'Narnia should be in 3D', 'Harry Potter rocks any day', 'Mad Hatter looked like Willy Wonka's acid trip gone bad', of some that I can remember.

Trust me the animated and movie versions of Alice which we saw on our DoorDarshan sets during the summers were a tasteful lot. They were far out than Burtonscape.

It is clear that Burton seriously overestimates himself, which is not bad...but dude we are not on acid!!

Monday, March 15, 2010

A sober weekend dream

I go to a salon and they do something to my hair that the 'do' becomes some what reed-like and its got a plume - a flaming red one. I take a walk on the street in the sun to show friends around. Some salon people and friends say "Hey this is a great shade...gawd fucking hair metal!

Something like this guy's ---

After a while the red turns into a shade of deep violet as it changes colours in the sun. Lo and Behold! I go back to the salon and tell them...listen the color is changing.

Get me something totally different! Get me satiated!! - I screamed.

They start cutting my hair really short this time - long at the front & short at the back, then they give me a nice shave leaving some of the mouch.

I look closely into the mirror, I see myself in sepia and fully satisfied I put my military jacket on and walk out with my right arm in the air.

Everyone else raised their hand back in salute as I walked out.

I woke up and rushed to check my new haircut. But was still the same old.
I burst out laughing in realization!

I looked somewhat like this in my dream.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Strange & Sweet in Spring!

Last night few friends were musing on some remarkable classical compositions over some beers. Well not exactly a 'wine-dine-articulate' conversation but more of Anthony Bourdain meets Sam Dunn kinds, if you know what I mean.

Then suddenly it struck upon me senses that 'Four Seasons' by Vivaldi, especially the spring part is such a lively rapture that compliments some place or some one so serenely beautiful. Though it was night and a few beers down, I could feel a warm caress of a sunny day and the tune played wonderfully in my head. So I gathered as much that I had to hum it to Silman - my dear friend and classical guitarist par excellence! The start was enough and what followed was half a room of people doing the 'TA TA TA' falsetto on Vivaldi's immemorial piece de renaissance!

Sweetness thy name is Spring; you've arrived and how!

Today I walk into office, still humming the tune, happy that it's a Friday and the weekend is at hand; I put on youtube to play Four Seasons...

LO and BEHOLD, what do I see...It's the 332nd birthday of Antonio Vivaldi.

Strange and Beautiful indeed! Long Live Vivaldi.